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When the future looks bad, you can’t see the way back home, I need help, please hold my hand! No! Better still, do this: get the nifty “best new friend” of you glasses or shades, Lens Jackets. All that may be wrong in your life is, simply, your lenses are dirty, scratched, pocked or chocked . . . Here’s how to fix it:
Add Lens Jackets to your resume’.
“What do you have to offer the bank?” might be the question. You answer, “Well, you see I’ve got Lens Jackets in my pockets, so I can see clearly the future, events just around the next corner, things that may happen all because I don’t have dirt in my eye. Anyone bright enough to use this advantage, well, go ahead, make me the offer; I’ll take that corner office off your hands.”
Then you pull these colorful, bright, compact little tuxes for your glasses out of your binder — always carry a binder.
The bankers are thinking, You’ve protected your glasses in a unique way. Maybe you can protect the bank’s money. That’s a plus . . . (also a change).
You know these little guys are cleaning cloths, too, disguised as protective jackets. So you use your dark blue Lens Jacket — you know, the power look — and calmly shine your glasses while discussing currency transactions, which may be a crock of bull, but it sounds official because all of the focus is on your glasses.
The bankers reflect, this person is put together. I wish I had those. I’ve still got grease from the 1972 fish fry dripping from mine.
Coming out of the think-tank of Corporate Resource Management, Inc., this cool little invention joins a host of unique products I’ve reviewed and use from the city of Atlanta, Georgia. Why Atlanta, you wonder? Don’t you think it has something to do with Coca-Cola being founded there? Think about it . . . nobody sleeps there, they’ve got all of this caffeine cursing through their veins! More time to invent!
Thinking up things for all of us. As ZZ Top would sing, “But you did, but you did, and I thank you.”
You are on the trail . . . a big cloud covers the woods; it gets dark even though it’s noon. So you coolly peel off the shades, slip a Lens Jacket on your glasses to protect them, tuck them into your pocket, so when the cloud rolls away, you’re ready to go.
Their microfibers lift the dust and oils from your glasses and all without toting any chemicals. Your Lens Jackets get dirty, you simply wash them.
So you step over behind the big desk, all the time discussing how to short the yen while drinking gin, and clean their computer screen, scoring points — when’s the last time someone did that for you? — making a favorable impression. And just before they send you up to HR to get your 500 grand signing bonus, you buff up the television screen, too, with your Lens Jacket — Judge Judy comes on in five minutes, can’t wait to see — she’ll never look so good.
Back out on the trail, here is another use: Carry your small flashlight in a Lens Jacket (see picture), ditch the bulky container, save space, it will tuck into those little bits of space over here and down there.
And, you have design choices at their Facebook site, along with a multitude of colors and sizes. You can be sure these won’t be returned when you give them as gifts.
write phillipgary@snowshoemag.com
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